There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt – and one more failure. The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear.
For Treatment Providers
However, making amends doesn’t always have to be a nerve-racking, dreadful or joyless experience. There is freedom that is gained by cleaning up the past, a freedom to live peacefully in the present. You’ve probably already discovered that by staying clean and sober and by working the Twelve Steps of AA that things are getting better.
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Even when I was young and didn’t drink myself, liquor living amends meaning was always around. I was a teenager then, and I figured I was just having fun and could control everything about my drinking. Enabled me to face my problem honestly and squarely. I couldn’t do it among my relatives; I couldn’t do it among my friends.
Our Script and Guide to Making Amends in AA and NA
I was terrified that I’d done something horrendous, until my friends called to tell me they’d enjoyed the evening. But just as material losses are not necessary to indicate alcoholism, material gains are not the true indications of sobriety. The real rewards aren’t material in nature. I have friends now because I know how to be a friend and I know how to nurture and encourage valuable friendships. Instead of the prolonged onenight stands I used to call my boyfriends, there is a special man in my life I’ve been involved with for аlmost five years.
Identifying 3 Types of Amends: Direct, Indirect, and Living
Of an evening, you can go on a mild bender, get up in the morning, shake your head and go to business. You cannot see why it should be to anyone else, save the spineless and stupid. Alcoholics who have derided religious people will be helped by such contacts. Being possessed of a spiritual experience, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may differ with them on many matters. If he does not argue about religion, he will make new friends and is sure to find new avenues of usefulness and pleasure. He and his family can be a bright spot in such Sober living home congregations.
- Just a few of the gifts of the program for surrendering, suiting up, and showing up for life every day.
- Somehow, I managed to do well in law school and to land several prestigious legal positions afterward.
- I went on Twelfth Step calls, spoke at meetings, served as group officer.
- For example, one might consider making indirect amends when the harmed person is deceased or contact would cause further harm.
Why AA Supports the Idea of Making Amends
It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself. It is not by chance we were given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our sense, and to draw conclusions. That is one of man’s magnificent attributes. We agnostically inclined would not feel satisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself to reasonable approach and interpretation. The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results.
How Step 9 AA Reduces Drug-Seeking Behavior
- But their love for me was not a substitute for loving myself; it didn’t fill the emptiness.
- The AA Big Book emphasizes the importance of being willing to make amends for the harm we have caused, while also avoiding causing further harm in the process.
- We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies our members identify themselves with as individuals.
- Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. Whatever the situation, we usually have to do something about it. If we are sure our wife does not know, should we tell here?
- God was really taking care of me and the other people on the road that night; I just didn’t know it at the time.
- Then one day I heard something that was music to my ears.
- The meeting lasted an hour and closed with the Lord’s Prayer.
- Much to my surprise the weekend went well – no problems – and in the next session I told my counselor so.
- It had never been used against airline pilots before.
Making amends is vital for the recovery journey as it helps us recognize the harm we have caused and take responsibility for our actions. By compensating the people we have hurt, us in long term recovery can begin to mend the ruptured relationships and rebuild trust while staying sober. Amends can repair the harm caused by addiction as we work the 9th step of a twelve step recovery program like AA. Unlike apologies, they involve concrete actions to restore trust, right the wrongs we made and rebuild relationships as we demonstrate our changed behavior.
Accepting outcomes and working towards rebuilding relationships fosters closure and forward movement in recovery. At Silvermist we are committed to being available for you or your family member day or night, you can call us 24/7. At Silvermist Recovery Center, you can experience one on one care and a customized treatment plan. It’s important to have a plan in place before we reach out. We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally. So be sure to talk with your sponsor and/or support group about your plan in the event that you need support.
